


fatality

by perihelion (mattratat)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: ... sort of, Canon Compliant, M/M, New Game+, fluff AND angst because god forbid i ever make this easy, nightmares mementos and naps: the fic, no p5r spoilers bc i cant get my grubby hands on it yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 06:24:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21387589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattratat/pseuds/perihelion
Summary: fa·tal·i·ty  (fā-tăl′ĭ-tē, fə-)n. pl. fa·tal·i·ties:1. a decree made by fate; destiny.2. the quality of being doomed to disaster.When Ren thinks of fatalities, he thinks of blood running down his face and a gun in Akechi's hands- hands he held- and the empty smile twisting Akechi's lips. Among other nightmares.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 92





	fatality

**Author's Note:**

> thanks as always to soup for the beta!!! ilysm!!!
> 
> also! the violence warnings are for mildly graphic depictions of death!! no one dies in this fic but pls be aware of that if it bugs u!!! the images are there!!

Ren Amamiya was, frankly, a fucking idiot. 

Sure, he might be able to pass his exams within the top ten percent of the school, but he was also the fool who fell in love with the very bastard that was dead set on putting a bullet in his head, so really, when it came down to it, he was probably one of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet. 

If Ren was a match; Akechi was kerosene. Together, they were nothing but a disaster, a wildfire waiting to happen. Flames that would burn everything he’d worked for to the ground, that would surely take both of them down with it. 

And  _ yet.  _

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged on his lips as Akechi’s name flashed on his screen, asking if he had plans after school. Surely, he wanted to play a round of chess, which Ren would certainly lose, or Akechi wanted to drag him around town in hopes of tracking down clues for whatever case he was supposedly working in between Phantom Thieves gigs. 

Of course he was free. 

(He wasn’t. He had plans with Makoto. She’d understand.) 

It wasn’t smart to be alone with Akechi, but he reasoned that it was all part of the act. Pretending he didn’t know, that he couldn’t already feel the barrel of Akechi’s gun against his forehead when he woke up in the dead of night. Spending time with him was just a part of the plan. 

At some point, though, Ren had kissed him and all those plans had gone out the window. He was an idiot, after all. 

“If you’re going to run around town with Akechi, I’m going home with Ann today,” Morgana muttered from his spot in the desk. 

Ann stiffened in her seat and sure enough, another message popped up on his screen.

_ you’re hanging out with akechi today?  _

Damn Morgana and his loud mouth. Ren stuck his tongue out at the cat, who gave him the most shit-eating expression his fluffy face could manage. 

_ yeah. akechi’s idea.  _

He considered providing more context, but Ann trusted him. Or, he hoped she did, anyways. 

_ mhm. try not to get murdered.  _

Ren snorted, putting his phone away and trying not to feel too jittery about his upcoming  date  hang out with Akechi. 

* * *

When the other Phantom Thieves weren’t around, Akechi’s good boy persona slipped ever so slightly. It started one afternoon when they were wandering around Mementos, just the pair of them, and a shadow had been particularly stubborn. Akechi had let out a slew of curse words that were strung together so artfully that Ren was almost impressed. He was ruder, angrier for hours at a time before remembering his act. 

It was these times that Ren liked the most. When Akechi let the facade fade and showed his true colors. 

The other Phantom Thieves, especially those whose names started with M, were often quick to remind him that he didn’t really know Akechi at all. That he was probably falling headfirst into a trap alongside love. Logically, he knew that. 

But when he saw Akechi cut the throat of a rather pesky Shadow with a “Just die already!” shouted at the top of his lungs, it didn’t  _ feel _ like that. 

There was no blood, but Akechi made a motion like he was wiping his hands clean of it, anyways. “Ugh, what a nuisance. Why did we come down here, again?” 

“Because,” Ren answered, “I promised Morgana I’d scope out this floor before we went anywhere else.” 

“Stupid cat,” Akechi muttered. 

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Ren countered airily, knowing damn well that Akechi wouldn’t slip and say something defamatory around the rest of the group. “Besides, it’s not like you had any plans for us anyways.”

“I always have a plan,” Akechi snapped. 

Ren wondered if he’d sound that bitchy when he finally decided to kill him. Probably. 

He shook his head. He needed to think of something else. 

“What are you doing?” Akechi asked, having apparently never taken his eyes off him. Oops. 

“Water in my ear,” Ren answered. It was total bullshit. He knew it. The arch of Akechi’s eyebrow told him that he knew it, too. 

Thankfully, Akechi let it drop, probably finding it too ridiculous to even bother with a reply. 

“What do you say we get out of here?” Ren asked, flashing him the brightest smile he had. 

Whatever that meant.    
  


It worked, though, because a pleasant smile pulled at Akechi’s lips as he nodded. “Sure.”

The calm, sweet persona seemed to settle so easily on him now that they were headed back into the real world. 

It was all a lie, of course. But Ren could stand to live with it a little longer. 

“Lead the way,” Akechi said. 

* * *

When they came out of Mementos, it was raining.

Typically, Ren liked to go to one of the local cafes to study when it was raining. The soft pitter-patter of rain hitting the roof helped him focus on his notes. He always felt that he could get more done if he was listening to rain. 

Today, though, he didn’t feel like studying. He was tired. 

He yawned, loudly and obnoxiously. “Come on, let’s go back to Leblanc.” 

“All right.” 

* * *

They didn’t stay in the cafe long, just enough for Ren to wave a hello to Sojiro and drag Akechi up the stairs to his room. 

He remembered how embarrassed he’d been of it the first time he brought Akechi up here. It had been so empty. The only sign that anyone even lived there was the messy bedsheets.

It wasn’t empty anymore. Photos covered the wall, photos of his friends, selfies and group photos… Photos with and of Akechi. There were knick-knacks that people had given him, momentos from various Palaces on his shelf. At some point, the attic room had become home. 

His home. 

He pushed the thought away and yawned, grabbing Akechi’s collar and pulling him down onto the bed, using one leg to pin him in place. He yawned again, mostly just for theatrics, exaggerating it as much as he could. “I’m tired. Let’s take a nap.”

“I have work to do,” Akechi pointed out, but his voice had returned to the overly pleasant cheerful tone it took most of the time that, right now, was just soothing enough to reinforce Ren’s plan of napping. “Get off me.” 

“Nuuuh,” Ren answered, pressing harder against Akechi’s side, throwing an arm over his chest. “Comfy.” 

“You’re such a baby,” Akechi muttered, but Ren could feel the tension leave his body as he shifted his weight to wiggle an arm under Ren’s head. He could feel the muscle under soft fabric. 

There was a weight that settled behind his eyes as he remembered how strong Akechi was. In the quiet, serious moments, when he remembered who they were and it wasn’t quite possible to pretend anymore. It was a heavy, sad weight. He wondered if it would ever go away. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asked. He didn’t care about the answer all that much, he just wanted to hear Akechi’s voice again. 

Not that he’d ever admit that.

“Not much,” Akechi said, sighing. “Thinking about how much of a nuisance you are. Go to sleep.” 

Ren snorted. “Rude.” 

The silence fell between them once more. They were so close, yet a mile apart. It was exhausting. 

For a moment, he let himself be worried about falling asleep with Akechi there, but, for whatever reason, it wasn’t because he thought he’d use it as a chance to kill him. 

Sometimes, he dreamt about it. Akechi’s cold, unforgiving eyes as he pulled the trigger, everything going dark before Ren woke up with a wretched scream and sore throat in the middle of the night. 

It was always a gun. Always an interrogation room. He didn’t know why, but it always went down the same. Akechi coming into the cell (why was he in a cell? He didn’t know), killing the guard and taking his gun, shooting him. Always the same dream, the same words, the same vindictive, empty grin on his boyfriend’s face. No, not always. Sometimes there was no gun, and Akechi’s warm hands, hands that he’d held so many times, would tighten around his throat and slowly choke him to death.

But the thoughts- his thoughts were always the same. They never failed to cross his mind, wondering if everything,  _ everything _ had been a lie. Trying to imagine that it couldn’t be while staring into cruel wine colored eyes and knowing that he’d never get an answer. 

Thinking  _ I love you _ just as the bullet pierced his skull. 

When he woke, Morgana would tell him to calm down, that it was just a dream. 

Now, lying next to Akechi, curled against his side as the bastard tried to hog the blankets, he couldn’t help but think that it could be something more. 

He wondered what Akechi would think if he woke up screaming. Would he be annoyed or sympathetic? Probably both. Nothing with him was ever one sided, after all. 

Would he know that Ren was dreaming about him? That he could still feel the grasp of his hands on his throat? Or the sharp pain of a knife digging into his throat? 

Or the barrel of a gun on his forehead. 

It was always the barrel of a gun. 

He felt sick and curled tighter against Akechi’s side, pressing tight and breathing in the familiar scent of detergent and light cologne on his sweater. Closing his eyes and listening to the soft patter of his heartbeat, feeling his chest moving up and down as he breathed. 

Being together like this felt… peaceful. It was nice. 

“Good night, Goro,” he murmured, eyelids heavy. 

“Shut up, Ren,” Akechi replied. 

As he drifted to sleep, his mind wandered.

_ Someday you’re going to tell me who you really are, _ his thoughts said. 

_ Until then, this is enough.  _

_ I can wait.  _

Waiting might lead to the barrel of a gun pressed against his forehead in a cold, unforgiving interrogation room or it might lead to any of a thousand scenarios in which Akechi turned against him. But, he supposed, some things were just worth dying for. 

And, if he was lucky, they might just be worth living for, too. 

For once, no dreams found him as he slept. 

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twitter for more feral akeshu screaming, among other things
> 
> @vanitashours !!
> 
> have a great day and thanks for reading!!!


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